Chasing Cars
by lillybug991
Summary: This is what I think should have happened after fault! Its based off of one of my all time favorite songs, Chasing Cars, by Snow Patrol. By the way this was my first time trying to write a song based fan fiction story, so don't forget to review and tell me what you thought of it!


**This is just a one-shot that I have been working on... I was watching Grey's Anatomy when they all started singing this song, and it gave me the idea to try and do a song fanfic! Oh and I had some help from The Congressman!**

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><p>I sat alone, in my apartment, watching a the rain droplets quickly slide down my window, just as slowly as the tears did down my face. <em>What was I suppose to do?<em> I couldn't take the chance of shooting and missing, or shooting and hitting the wrong target. I wish I could have been in his place, I have nothing, I'm alone. He has a family, children, an ex-wife. Sure they weren't married anymore, but they went to high school together, no matter what happened they were going to miss each other. Had I taken that shot and missed, I don't know what I would have done. He would be dead, and emotionally I probably would be to. I don't, no I can't cope without him. He is my rock, I'm his... partner. I always forget to remind myself that we are nothing but partners, friends. But I love him, deep down, I love him and I couldn't do any of this without him.

Just then there was a knock at the door, I couldn't open it. I knew it was him, but I can't open it. He would see how broken I am, _or would he? Does he even care?_ Does he know what I am going through right now? He told me over and over to shoot, _just do it Olivia,_ _take the shot_, but I couldn't. I just stood there as Gitano held the gun to his head, both of them yelling at me, _take the shot Olivia!_

"Liv, I know you're in there," I heard him say through the door, but I couldn't, I can't let him in. "I will use my key," this just made me cry harder, he must've heard because not a moment later I heard the key in the lock. He doesn't ever use it, I gave it to him for emergencies, _is this an emergency?_

"El, please," I cried, I didn't want him to see me like this, but I seen the door slowly opening and I knew there was nothing I could do. "Don't," I said even though I knew it was pointless, he was so stubborn.

As soon as the door opened all the way, it shut just as quickly. I knew it would take his eyes a moment to adjust to the darkness, I quickly wiped my face of tears. I had to pull myself together, at least a little bit. I needed to look capable of anything, I have no idea how tonight is going to play out, or why he is even here for that matter.

"Liv," he said, I could hear the sadness in his voice. _Why?_ "Liv, I'm sorry," he said walking over to me, I made no effort to move, and I kept my legs underneath me.

"Why it's not your fault, I was an awful partner, I didn't have your back," I said, I could see him, still slowly walking over to me. _I never knew that my couch was so far from my door?_

"Liv none of this is your fault," he said, _did he really believe that?_ _Because I didn't._

**_'We'll do it all,  
><em>****_everything,  
>on our own,<br>_****_We don't need,  
>anything,<br>or any one,'_**

"El you can't honestly believe that. I couldn't take the shot?" I asked watching him as he sat down on the sofa beside me.

"But I knew if the sniper haven't had beaten you to it, that you would have," he said turning to face me, I could see that his eyes were blood-shot, _had he been crying?_

"That's the thing El," I whispered.

"What is?" He asked confused, he took my hands in his and looked me in the eyes.

"I don't think I would have taken the shot, El your my best friend," I confessed even though I knew he already knew this.

_**'If lay here,  
>if I just lay here,<strong>_  
><em><strong>Would lay with me and just forget the world?'<strong>_

"I know and your mine, Liv," he said as he started gently sliding his thumb over the back of my hand. _Does he even know what he does to me?_ The soft touches, the quick looks, the small smiles. I feel as if I could burst, but I can't tell him. I know it's not the same for him.

"El," I said letting out a long sigh, I was going to pull my hand out of his grasp when I felt him squeeze harder.

"Liv I know you would have done it," he said, tightening his hold on my as if he knew I was going to pull out of his grasp. _He did know me well._

"No El I couldn't, wouldn't; you don't get it!" I said, I felt water on my face and soon realized that I was crying again. _Just perfect!_

"Don't get what? Liv what's wrong?" He asked, how can he be so oblivious about what I am feeling, _but know everything about me? Does he just not care? He is only waiting for me to admit it?_

_**'I don't quite know,  
>how to say,<br>how I feel,**_  
><em><strong>Those three words are said too much,<br>but not enough,'**_

"I love you," I blurted out; this time I did pull my hands out of his grasp, only to bury my face in them. I felt tears rolling down my face, but I wasnt to the point to where I was sobbing yet.

"I love you too," he said as if it were nothing, but it's not friendly love that he thinks. I do love him like that as well, but it's so much deeper.

"No El, I love you," I said standing up as if to prove my point, _am I really about to confess my undying love for him?_ "I love you to the point I can't eat, I can't sleep." _Yes, yes I am._ "I can't do this with out you!" I said waving my hands around in the air like a crazy person. "El I love you! If I had missed and hit you or missed and he shot you, I wouldn't be able to live with myself, do you get that?" I asked. I am crying now, to the point I had to take a break and gasp for air.

"Liv I know you wouldn't have missed," he said standing up and walking over to me, but I put my hands up and stopped him.

_**'If I lay here,  
>if I just lay here,<strong>_  
><em><strong>Would lay with me and just forget the world?'<strong>_

"No you just, no stay," I said still holding my hands up. I knew he was going to hug me, and I soon as he touched me I would break; I would officially be broken.

"Liv," he said stepping towards me but I held my hands up anyway.

"You don't understand, I can't keep living like this El, I can't do it!" I said. Am I really yelling at the love of my life in the darkness of my apartment? "Elliot, I can't... I can't do it on my own anymore," I cried backing up some more, still holding my hands up.

Before I knew what was happening my face was in his hands and his were on mine, and I was against the wall.

_**'Forget what we're told,  
>before we get to old,<strong>_  
><em><strong>Show me your garden that's bursting into life,'<strong>_

Before I knew what was happening my face was in his hands and his lips were on mine, his body pinning me against the wall.

I stood there frozen, my hands still in the air, my face soaked in tears. _But the kiss!_ It was just so soft and gentle, so easy to get lost into it. I dropped my hands to his arms, gripping his forearms.

I parted my lips slowly, allowing him access knowing that that's what he wanted. I wanted nothing more than to kiss him for the rest of eternity, but just as quickly as it started it ended.

"Liv, I love you too," he said, kissing another tear that had slid down my cheek. My heart hitched at his words. _Does he really?_ "Liv, stop thinking otherwise," he said gently kissing my lips. _God how does he do it?_ "Liv, I can't eat, I can't sleep, all I do it think about you. I sit in my empty apartment and I wonder what you are doing at every moment," he confesses. _Is he going to confess his undying love for me? God I hope so._ "Liv I love you, more than I could ever say. I pick up the phone every minute to call you, if only to hear your voice, then I get worried I am annoying you. It's the same reason I chose you over the kid. Liv I can't do anything without you! You are always there for me! And if I had to wake up one day without you, I wouldn't be able to do it," he said, looking me dead in the eyes. I didn't know what to say. So I said the only thing I could say.

_**'Lets waste time,  
>chasing cars,<br>around our heads,**_  
><em><strong>I need your grace,<br>to remind me,  
>to find my own,'<strong>_

"Kiss me El," I whispered, and he did; when I felt his lips on mine, a smile graced them for the first time tonight. I had my hands on his chest, feeling his fingers lock in my hair. "I love you so much," I said into the kiss. I think that did it for him because I felt water on my lips a moment later, tasting salt, and I knew it wasn't my tear. I pulled back looked him in the eyes. "I'm sorry," I said. I am trying my hardest not to cry, but at this moment I am just so ecstatic that he feels the same way that I can't help the one tear that rolls down my face

"Don't be sorry Liv, I love you," he said softly. "I love you so much," he said, and by the look in his eyes I knew he meant it.

"Oh El," I whispered and I kissed him this time, me, myself! I am standing in my apartment kissing the love of my life! I wrapped my arms around his neck and held on, as if I were to open my eyes and all of this would be a dream.

"Olivia," he said gently, as if what he were about to say could hurt me. _Please, no, I don't think I can take it._

"Don't," I whispered breathlessly, I guess somewhere deep down I knew what he was going to say.

"We can't choose each other over the job," he said letting out a long sigh. Oh God, this is where it all ends. I unhook my legs from around his waist and I feel my feet hit the floor. Putting my hands on his chest, I push him back a little.

_**'If I lay here,  
>if I just lay here,<strong>_  
><em><strong>Would lay with me and just forget the world?'<strong>_

"El, I," _how was I going to tell him? Should I even tell him?_

"What Liv?" He asks, I can see that me not answering him is killing him, almost as much as it is me for not telling him.

"I asked for a new partner," I whispered so quietly I doubt he could even hear me.

"What?" But of course he did. _He's my Elliot_, the one who knows me better than I do myself; he probably knew I was going to say it before I did.

"You said so yourself El, we can't choose each other over the job," I said walking to, well just walking away from him. I honestly don't know where to go, my room? Do I just leave?

"That's not what I meant, and I just said this! How could you have already asked for a new partner?" he was angry. I could tell it was bad, his eyes darkening to a navy blue 50 shades darker than they were moments ago.

"I did it when I got back from the hospital," I said softly. Why do I always feel so small around him, that even the slightest hint of disapproval would cause me to break down?

"Liv that's not what I meant," he said stepping towards me, I step back again only to be met with the side of the couch.

_**'Forget what we're told,  
>before we get to old,<strong>_  
><em><strong>Show me your garden that's bursting into life,'<strong>_

"What did you mean El? Because to me it sounded as if you were saying that we can't be partners anymore," I said, the usual steel in my voice finally showing itself.

"Liv, all I meant was that we just needed to be more careful," he said walking over to me. This time I didn't make any effort to move letting him pin me between himself and the couch. He took my shoulders in his hands and then lifted my face to watch him. I couldn't do it, I know what he meant when he said it. 'We can't be partners anymore,' he all but threw it in my face; sure it didn't come out in those words but I knew that's what he meant. "Liv, forget about work! This isn't about work! I love you and I can't do anything without you!" There say those words again! _Do I say them back?_

"El," I start but he presses his lips to mine, quickly silencing me. It's a soft quick kiss as if its purpose was to shut me up; I can't help but think that it worked.

He pulled back, a look of panic-tinged desperation on his face. "You mean everything to me. I would quit SVU in a heartbeat if it meant keeping you safe Liv," he said, barely holding it together. I watched stunned at his display of raw emotion, his chest rising as he took a deep breath. "What I meant was that we just needed to be there for each other even more; we need to know that one another is safe! We need to stick together. We need to lean on each other better! I know we haven't been doing that lately because of my divorce, and God knows I have been pushing you away. But Liv, I couldn't deal with it at the time and I knew you were going to ask me how I was doing," he said. Of course I would have asked him! _God why does he have to know me so well?_

"El, Cragen told me no," I said quickly. I was really hoping this would make both of our night so much better.

"What do you mean he said no?" Elliot asked, furrowing his brows.

"I mean he told me that I was stuck with you," I said, and as soon as I said it I realize how hard it sounded. "Not that I don't mind being stuck with you. I love you but I just... I just didn't know you felt the same way! I thought you were mad at me, but it was because of the divorce! Why didn't I even think of that?" I was totally rambling! _I need to shut up!_

"Liv stop," he said, placing his finger on my lip to shush me. I looked up from his finger to his eyes, and that's when I seen a new color change in them. They were bright, happy, and (dare I say) _full of love?_

**_'All that I am,  
>all that I ever was,<em>**  
><strong><em>Is here in your perfect eyes,<br>they're all I can see,'_**

"Liv, it's fine; I know what you mean," he said cracking a small smile. I couldn't help but smile back. This is what we really needed to break the somber mood that had taken over.

"I'm sorry I asked for another partner El. I just, I thought that you were mad at me, and didn't want to be partners." Staring intently into his gorgeous eyes, my heart began to melt at the love I saw. "I honestly don't know what I would do without you," I whispered softly. "You mean everything to me too."

"Liv I love you and no matter what happens, we will always be partners," he said. I saw his face slowly making its way towards mine. _He was going to kiss me again!_

"El are you sure you want to do this?" I asked, mentally cursing myself. I couldn't just keep my damn mouth shut!?

"What do you mean?" he asked. I could tell he was confused.

"Well I love you and you say you love me, but what about Kathy?" I couldn't help but ask. _Way to ruin a perfectly good moment Olivia_, I scolded myself.

**_'I don't know where,  
><em>****_confused about how as well,  
><em>****_Just know that these things will never change for us at all,'_**

To my surprise he chuckled a bit. "That's all? Liv you know Kathy and I have been divorced for almost two years now. I am completely over her, and I was over her before we were even over," he said. He kissed my cheek lightly, and I believe him.

Giving him a sultry smirk, the words came tumbling out of my mouth. "Well then Stabler, if you're so sure..." I grabbed his face and kissed him, putting as much love into the kiss as I could. Because God knows how much I love the man that was standing in front of me.

"Olivia, I love you. Whatever happens, we will always be partners, for better or worse," he said, picking me up.

I smiled; I loved it when he said that. Because its the truth, that no matter what happens we will always be there for each other.

"El," I whispered.

"Yes?" he replied, gently kissing my lips.

"Take me to bed," I said, and that is exactly what he did. And as we laid there in each others arms I couldn't help but wonder... _'What if I took the shot?'_

**_'If I lay here,  
><em>****_if I just lay here,  
><em>****_Would lay with me and just forget the world?'_**

**Review!**_  
><em>


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